Category personal

A Man Is Dead

minnow 1 Comment

Many woke up this morning in shock, outraged, saddened, and numb. One of their heroes was assassinated moments after making a flippant remark about the number of transgender mass shooters there have been in the US. THIS was not a mass shooting event, though a mass shooting did occur one state over, in Colorado. No, in this instance, a lone gunman, with a high powered rifle, murdered Mr. Kirk. As of this writing the perpetrator has not been apprehended, though authorities believe they located the weapon and questioned two people of interest before releasing them later in the day.

Unsurprisingly, Charlie Kirk’s death is already being politicized. (And no, it is not a “distraction” from the Epstein mess; most can hold more than one issue in tension at a time). The president, took the lead, ordered flags to be flown at half mast, and ironically pointed an angry finger at the left while decrying violence predicate by political outrage. Many Democratic figures, including: Biden, Obama, AOC, Newsom, Clinton, Gov. Pritzker, Schumer, and Minnesota state Sen. John Hoffman, who himself was a victim of a politically motivated shooting–spoke out against such violence as an answer to our problems. Speaker Johnson called for a moment of silence on the House floor but a bitter shouting match ensued instead. And, talk shows, podcast, and influencers across the country all seem to have a finger to point, a point to be made, a reason, an excuse, some kind of analysis to add. But the fact remains–a man is dead.

Charlie Kirk could be my son but it isn’t just age that separates us. I don’t think I share a single political or religious philosophy with Kirk, though I, too, would call myself a Christian and a patriot. So, how is it that two people who self identify in the same way could be, in all the ways they walk out those identities, so far a part? We are blind, grabbing the “elephant” in front of us, and declaring to the world what an elephant is, despite the fact we are only using one part of an elephant–the trunk, the tail, the tusk–to inform our declarations.

A man is dead. His wife and children will need to navigate the rest of their lives without him. No one in his life woke up yesterday (9.10.25) morning thinking that by end of day he would be gone and their lives would be forever changed. From the looks of it, most Americans will not allow Charlie Kirk’s death to cause them a moment of self reflection. Many have already begun spinning it to advance their own agendas. In truth, most, if not all, who are at this moment talking about the tragedy are doing just that.

I am.

I hope, in writing this blog, I inspire a moment of engagement on the part of any who read it. I hope readers will stop their busy thoughts and ask themselves: How can I change the trajectory of our country with regard to violent solutions to our problems? How do we get off the merry-go-round of blaming and villainizing and fear mongering and land on solid ground from which we can grow in our understanding of the bigger picture and all the players?

Charlie Kirk is dead. I am not among his mourners. Yet, I pity the person who cannot see this event as a tragedy or take a moment to ask–In what piece of this did I play a part?

 

I Hit a Wall

minnow 1 Comment

When You Hit a Writing Wall: Break Through Writer's Block - B2B Technology Copywriting - Kellé Campbell PR WriterI could feel it coming so didn’t exactly slam into it. Even so, knowing it was coming, sensing it getting closer and closer,  didn’t stop me from hitting it. When I hit, I quit. I stopped listening to my daily podcasts. I deleted Substacks from my e-mail without opening them. I stopped doom scrolling on FB. After one, maybe two posts I simply closed the tab. My own posting slowed to a crawl.

To fill the void (for lack of better word), I listened to fiction on audible. I played Wordle, and Connections, and Strands. I did the MINI NYT crossword. In the morning, I took my dogs for a walk. In the afternoon, I went out to my garden. I started digging up aberrant raspberry vines, and grass, and weeds–things I could kill. I planted veggies, flowers, grapes, and blackberries–things I could nurture. I built a compost bin and reworked a drip watering system. I got hot and sweaty and physically tired (which didn’t take particularly long).

It felt good.

As I worked in my yard, I thought about my son; Caleb passed away last August. His birthday was May 28th and I miss him terribly. He would be heartbroken by what is happening to this country, by the targeting of his community as well as others. Of course, he understood we weren’t in the best place even if Harris won, but this,…Not having to witness this, is the only good thing about Caleb not being here. Like me, I believe he would have had difficulty accepting that we chose this; that freedom loving, independent minded, Americans actually decided a convicted criminal; a habitual liar; a crude, petulant, narcissist; an authoritarian with no interest in the vast majority of American citizens, was our best option.

I still can’t wrap my head around the idea that most voters are either so racist, homophobic, sexist, and xenophobic themselves –OR–are so lazy, privileged, and ignorant that they willing turned the country over to a once failed president and his fascist cadre of “advisors” and sycophants. Yes, yes, yes, yes, 1000 times yes–Democrats are flawed. Both parties have a long history of giving financial influencers far too much power to set policy, to insist that the “common good” was best served when their interests were protected. Without question, unfettered power in the hands of the wealthy IS the single greatest reason we are now standing at the abyss.

But for the love of God people–WE ARE STANDING AT THE ABYSS! And it’s a hell of a long way down. WHAT are we going to do?

People have been, ARE BEING, kidnapped off our streets, out of their work places, from their homes, and schools, and places of worship. Masked men, without warrants or badges or IDs have grabbed US CITIZENS, legal immigrants, CHILDREN, and tossed them in unmarked vehicles in order to carry them away to God knows where. NO due process. NO contact with family. NO legal counsel. Some have been shipped out of state others out of the country. Yet the nightly news acts as if a dip in the stock market is more important. NEWS ALERT–without due process “being disappeared” can happen to YOU. This is the abyss.

Judges have been, ARE BEING, harassed, vilified and even arrested. Court orders ARE BEING ignored, including orders from the Supreme Court. Some Judges feel they must hire their own security because they can’t trust the US Marshall Service to protect them. The built in checks to unfettered power ARE BEING intimidated and the Republican controlled Congress–which is supposed to be the other form of checks and balances–has done almost nothing to stop the administration’s bullying. This is the abyss.

The president is overtly engaged in corruption. He’s broken the emollients clause in the Constitution by accepting and soliciting gifts from foreign governments. He allowed an unelected, unvetted billionaire with a major conflict of interest, to decimate government agencies, fire government employees, shut down investigations of his companies after spending over $270 million dollars to re-elect the president and other key republicans, and have access to our private information. The President is selling access to himself (and therefore the government) with million dollar a plate dinners at Mar-a-Lago. His yo-yo tariffs have allowed insiders to sell high and buy low as the stock market reacts. And while it’s not officially “corruption” the One Big Beautiful Bill, if passed, will put an additional $460,000 dollars into the pockets of the richest Americans while costing the lowest earners up to $1000 a year.  Plus, it adds trillions to the national debt. This is the abyss.

How can we just go about our lives like normal. Things are not normal. You might not be feeling the impact at this very moment but the tsunami is coming.

I wish I had an answer, a magic word to wake everyone up. I personally feel stuck and tired and helpless. The barriers we face (ignorance, apathy, fear) to reclaim our democracy, to re-establish a balance of power, and to fix what’s been broken in such a short time seems overwhelming. I look around, and while some others are also sounding the alarm, no one seems to have a plan. Who knows the way out of this surreal hell-scape called the American political system? I’ll rally. I’ll protest. I’ll keep speaking truth to power. But it’s going to take more than a 66 year old blogger but honestly, that’s all I have to offer.

*     *     *

Thank you William Barber III, AOC, Bernie Sanders, Tim Miller, Heather Cox Richardson,…

 

 

 

Holy Week

minnow Leave a comment

It’s Maundy Thursday. Though they didn’t know it at the time it would be their last supper with Jesus; the disciples simply thought they were getting ready for Passover. What are we in the Christian Church getting ready for this Easter? Does anyone wonder anymore, as they watch the news of the day unfold, what would Jesus do?

Last Sunday congregations across the country waved palms in the air and hailed Him King of kings and Lord of lords. Today, as a member of the body, I’m expected grieve. After they ate, He took them to pray. As He was finishing the soldiers came. Peter raised a sword but Jesus stopped them. The soldiers took Him from the garden, jail him, torture him, ignore his advocates, parade him through the streets, and then murder him in the name of the State for the crime of being God’s Son?

On Thursday we mourn but by Sunday we are rejoicing. This is Holy Week for the Church. And yet, how can we, who are called by His name, not make parallels as we look out into our world? An innocent man is grabbed off the streets. He’s jailed on trumped up charges but receives no trial. He’s sent to a foreign prison. His fate unknown. Is he dead? Possibly. His crime? Being brown in MAGA America. And there are others–hundreds of others. And there will be more–many more.

Full disclosure–I walked away from building based Christianity several years ago. And only recently have been heartened by a few Church leaders who have dared to speak out. Still, it is difficult for me to think about the Church in America. The seeds it has sewn are rooted in despair. Most of my pleas most of the time are greeted with silence. And those who shout the loudest, use arrogant platitudes that take the name of God in vain, as they justify and make excuses for that which cannot be excused.

So Church, tell me–how should I believe in your God when His teachings are ignored by you? His compassion for the least of these is ridiculed by your leader? And you, His people, remain silent? When your witness stamps a seal of approval on injustice, lawlessness, and cruelty in who can I believe? Where do I anchor my hope? In what can I rejoice?

 

What are You Afraid of?

minnow Leave a comment

A person on FB just asked a friend of mine what she was afraid of. The question was meant to mock her concerns about Musk’s dismantling of the government, lying about what he’s doing, and the ultimate damage it will do. While Musk’s behavior should concern everyone who believes in democracy as more than a buzz word, it isn’t, for me, the worst part of what is happening at the hands of this administration. I am mostly dismayed by the callousness that has taken root on both sides of this divide.

Far too many people on the Left (Dems, progressives, liberals, whatever they’re calling themselves these days) have allowed themselves to become bitter and angry and as a result rude and unreasonable. Sure, some of that was happening before the election but if my feed is any indicator the vitriol is multiplying and more hearts are hardening.

I understand, some on the Left feel the Left shoots themselves in the foot by being too soft. For me the opposite is true. When we become what we critique–what we revile–we blur the line. If I truly believe is liberty, autonomy, and free speech–the other side gets to be ugly, they get to lie, they get to gaslight. They get to represent themselves any way they choose. My job is to point out what’s happening, to champion the truth, and to become as good at sound-bite messaging as they are.

So to answer the question my friend was asked: what am I afraid of? I am afraid for IBPOC who have been systematically discriminated against and who now must claw their way back to an equitable playing field. I am afraid for brown people, some of whom are immigrants, who are stopped, questioned, and detained without cause. Some of whom will also be deported regardless of their status or their history of working and paying taxes. I am afraid my daughters freedom to control their own bodies and choose their own medical care will be taken away. I am afraid for veterans and soldiers who were fired from government jobs because they were favored under the Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion policy, who just lost their healthcare due to downsizing the VA, and who may be sent into reckless wars with Iran or the other countries this administration is threatening. I’m afraid the farmers who were counting on USAID to keep them afloat will lose their family farms. I’m afraid for the ranchers and US manufacturers who are going to have markets close and costs sky rocket because of this administration’s haphazard tariffs. I’m afraid the people of Ukraine who have been abandoned because of this president’s greed and ego and adoration of a Russian dictator will lose their country. I am afraid the elderly who rely on medicare and live on fixed incomes will lose their homes because increases in property taxes will make it impossible for them to stay where they’ve lived their entire lives. I’m afraid for everyone who can’t pay off his or her credit card each month, who struggles to find and pay for childcare, who can’t afford health insurance, and who are already scrimping to afford gas and groceries. I am afraid for all the children who once again will face debilitating diseases like measles, chicken pox, polio, diphtheria, and more. I’m afraid for the physical safety and mental health of people in LGBTQ+ communities as the target on their backs is made larger. I am also afraid of becoming like them–of learning to hate.

It isn’t shocking really that I am afraid of what’s coming. What is shocking is that anyone with an ounce of compassion isn’t afraid!

Principles and Power

minnow Leave a comment

A. J. Muste’s response to an incredulous reporter’s question about his nightly candle lite protest of the Vietnam War in the 1960s is an important reminder in these dark days. Muste countered, “Oh I don’t do this to change the country. I do this so the country doesn’t change me.” Muste’s lesson? Integrity matters.

I believe America was founded on the principles of self governance, freedom, liberty, equality, the right to protest without fear of redress, autonomy, and a commitment to the common good. In my home I was taught that God, family, and country were all worthy of my allegiance. As I grew older, I came to realize that our ideals were not always our realities and some Americans wore white hoods instead of white hats. Still, when I read Dr. King’s speech “Remaining Awake Through a Great Revolution” and when I heard President Obama repeat King’s hope filled declaration that, “the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.” I chose to believe that America’s trajectory was toward that which is noble, and true, and excellent. But today.

Today our trajectory has changed. Today it feels like goodness has fallen from the sky and those who believe in any kind of moral universe have been left alone in the dark. Holding candles that have flickered out in the cold winter wind. The longer I watch, the less I recognize this America. We have taken a U-turn. And, there’s seems to be no exit ramp. The more horrific the headlines, the louder the MAGA crowd cheers. Either they truly don’t understand what’s happening, or sadder, they don’t care. They seem willing to burn their own houses down, so long as they can “own a lib”, however fleeting the moment.

Though I often wish I was not seeing the writing on the wall–the threats, the destruction, the despair–the thought doesn’t last long. Another FB post or newsletter or headline hits my feed exposing the latest assault and the gut punch lands. My eyes have not been deceived. An unqualified, unelected, unvetted billionaire has been let loose in the halls of power and no willing body seems able to stop him. Suits have been filed, judges have ruled, and their stays and verdicts and orders thus far have been ignored. Protests have mounted, calls and emails have been sent by the millions, but the waves keep coming. From the president, from Musk, from the Republican Congress. The speed with which their ruthlessness is moving seems only to accelerate with each challenge, crushing the slow roll of justice.

The consequences are brutal. While his followers celebrate– farmers, and veterans, school children, and the elderly brace for impact. International communities are already suffering. Gaza will likely be obliterated. Ukraine will probably fall. Our allies, the vulnerable, and all who failed to kiss the ring have long been abandon, some even finding themselves in the crosshairs. The president is making deals, sending immigrants to Gitmo, and targeting his “enemies”.  This is the new America. Our democracy is failing. And, the MAGA cult couldn’t be more giddy.

At this point in time, I worry most for people I don’t actually know, my circle being very small and mostly white and mostly straight. But my daughters are not far from the front line of this current administration’s war and that also concerns me. If democracy crumbles completely, they will have few, if any, weapons with which to resist. Hyperbole? I don’t think so. My gut tells me it is going to get much, much darker before the dawn. And I don’t believe many of us, including myself, are equipped to care for those who will suffer.

In his commencement address to Oberlin College, King warned his listeners to stay awake, to keep marching forward, because “the forces committed to negative ends – [had] used time much more effectively than the people of good will.” Despite his warning most fell asleep and far too many are still sleeping. Those committed to domination and gluttony and pride have brought us to this new moment in time, when the “moral arc of the universe” may well be altered.

I would like to have Anne Frank’s eternal optimism. But, I don’t honestly know if I believe that “people are truly good at heart”. I hope that I, like Muste, am one hold a candle in the darkness, that the intensity of the situation does not overwhelm me, and that enough of us will join together to hold one another up and the rest accountable. I believe we are living what Kevin Roberts of the Heritage Foundation (and key promoter of Project 2025) meant when he suggested, “We are in the process of the second American Revolution, which will remain bloodless if the left allows it to be.” What is yet to be determined is how far the Project 2025 cabal is actually willing to go and whether or not a people’s resistance has a chance.

 

 

They Aren’t Stupid but Neither Are We

minnow Leave a comment

Thinking they’re stupid would be letting them off the hook, and soften the reality. The MAGA cult and its leaders are racist and patriarchal. They’re bigots. They’d rather blame someone else than do the more difficult work of self reflection and problem solving. They’re self absorbed and self righteous. They’re intentionally rude and mean spirited. They lack courage, and compassion, and a willingness to change. Those traits aren’t stupidity; they’re weakness, cowardice, and unchecked ego. And, when given power, they’re a menace to a functional society.

Nearly all the rest who voted for the current president are lazy and fearful and possibly overwhelmed. Many will be hit hard by what this administration is doing. Our anger and shaming, and finger pointing won’t help–them or us. Neither will our pity. From now until the end (whenever that occurs and whatever that looks like) those who don’t proudly walk under the MAGA banner have the opportunity to reassess and realign their loyalties. The truth is available for their education. Unfortunately, most–like the “good Germans” during the 1930s and 40s–will simply choose to keep their heads down and try to survive. Don’t worry about them. Keep speaking truth to power. Use facts when you advocate. And, be civil. You won’t win debates with bigots but others may be watching.

I know, I’ve said versions of this before. Why keep saying it?

Honestly, I need to remind myself that just because I believe democracy is in the midst of collapse doesn’t mean the day to day is going to look different any time soon. Most people don’t feel more pinched today than they were already feeling. Thus, efforts by the left to wave red flags and point to the falling sky, will most likely fall on the same deaf ears they fell on before the election. That’s not to say give up. It is to say, focus your attention and conserve your energy. What can you do now, to make a bigger difference later?

If you’ve got the means–invest in social justice efforts, and politically progressive voices (AOC, Warren, Sanders, Greg Casar, Ilhan Omar, et al)  and public media. Keep feeding the fire. And keep helping the folks on the frontlines.

If you’ve got the time and energy–volunteer at shelters and soup kitchens and advocacy groups. Use social media to spread the word. Build networks. CONNECT. Figure out who to thank and who to encourage.

If you’ve got the talent–Create. Perform. Make art. Be inventive and spontaneous. Post your work. Invite others to share theirs. Art speaks volumes–in subtle and bold languages. Use it!

And if you’ve got the means, and the energy, and the talent–make safe spaces. Places for people to gather. Places for people to rest. places for the wounded to regroup. We are definitely going to need them.

Before Trump was Ever a Factor

minnow Leave a comment

The voices of everyday people have always been difficult to hear, and especially so when the cha-ching of dollars is so cacophonous. Over the last 30 years, the restraints that were once thought essential equalizers between the haves and have-nots have been eroded and those with money have gained more and more power (via PAC ads, campaign contributions, or “gifts”). Today it could be easily argued that Musk, Bezos, Zuckerberg, and others, even more than the president, run the country. In truth, since SCOTUS ruled in Citizens United in 2010, having wealth has equalled having influence. The biggest difference with this administration is that we’re watching it boldly play out and half the country couldn’t care less.

In exchange for praises from the wealthy (like a packrat unable to resist a shiny gold object), the technical man in charge is willing to cut taxes, do away with oversight, and alienate our allies. He doesn’t care how his policies impact 88% of the country (AKA anyone worth less than a million dollars) because he knows he can keep his base angry enough at “the other” (IBPOC, LGBTQ people, and WOKE women) through fear mongering, finger pointing, and appealing to their God-given superiority, that they won’t notice he has abandoned them. And sadly, the rest of us matter even less.

That said, the Left might be more compassionate toward women and minority groups but it obviously missed the boat in the recent election. There are lots of factors, and I’m not going to debate them all here. Suffice it to say, I believe a fair chunk of the problem is that most Dems are just as beholden to big donors as their Republican counterparts are. Their collective unwillingness to work for the greater good by way of fighting to undo Citizen’s United, refusing to accept PAC money, raise taxes on the wealthy, championing universal healthcare, or breaking up monopolies (to name just a few of their economic issues), has left them without a loyal base.

It’s Maslow’s hierarchy of needs–way too many people are worried about shrinking incomes and the increased cost of living, to care about morality or ethics. In this election, one side said “we need to work together” and the other said “I’ll solve everything–on day one.” The fact that, problem solving in government doesn’t actually work that way didn’t matter much to people who were fed a ton of disinformation, felt burnt out from Covid recovery, and intentionally tuned out the political noise. They wanted an easy way out and the wealthy, bombastic, celebrity businessman and wounded warrior filled the roll.

In my opinion, that’s how we got here. And, here’s what their money bought us: Oligarchy and fascism on steroids.

His first week of Executive Orders, unqualified cabinet picks, harassment of our allies, and pushing of his limits was, by design, meant to keep anyone who cares on their heels. Though multiple actions his administration has taken are probably illegal the looming question is: How will SCOTUS’s presidential immunity come into play? He can’t just fire the Inspector Generals. Still, he fired 12. The acting Attorney General can’t simply dismiss DoJ lawyers just because they were assigned to investigate the president. But, over a dozen were. Birth right citizenship is enshrined in the Constitution. Yet, his EO canceled it. In addition, he’s banned transgender people from serving in the military. He removed all reverences to equality, diversity, and inclusion from federal programs. He’s sending military personnel to the border to help run detention camps. He halted all foreign aid except to Israel. And the list goes on.

During 45’s presidency many of us woke up dreading the stupid ugly thing he was going to do next. Replace stupid with dangerous and you describe how millions are feeling about 47’s presidency. So, what’s a person to do when their Party missed the boat? Honestly, stop looking to the Party for answers until the Party decides to let the people drive the boat. Instead, keep watch. Pass on verifiable, pertinent information but don’t obsess; we will all miss things. What we miss someone else will catch. Encourage those who legitimately stand in the gap (AOC, Elizabeth Warren, Bishop Budde, Bishop William Barber II, Justice Sotomayor)  I’m sure it can feel very lonely (Not to mention frightening and exhausting and relentless). Check in personally with the people you know who are vulnerable, afraid, allies. And, if you have time, if you have resources, use them to build, promote, and support safe spaces. The election was our opportunity to stop what’s happening from happening. Now it’s time to regroup, rest up, and let the dust settle.

Connection & Encouragement

minnow Leave a comment

 A post, by John Pavlovitz which holds Trump voters accountable for the actions, policies, and rhetoric coming from their presidential choice, is making the rounds. As a pastor and author, Pavlovitz rose to fame by calling out religious folk who didn’t seem to actually know the guy they claimed to be following. This post makes it quite clear that Pavlovitz has little respect and even less patience for the people he knows who voted for the current president. And, if one drew a venn diagram of these two groups I suspect the circles would come close to overlapping.

A part of me wishes I’d written Pavlovitz’s treatise for I share the frustration, the grief, and the pain that is evidenced in his notice. It is heartbreaking to think people I once considered friends, co-laborers, even family, could in reality stand in such a different place than I do, both practically and ethically. The urge to beg for their attention and shake my fist in their faces is almost overwhelming especially as I continue to watch the Right’s agenda unfold. Pavlovitz seems to agree.

The whirlwind of executive orders and mandates since the president’s inauguration has had me running to catch my breath. What needs to be highlighted? Firing 12 Inspector Generals. Freezing international aid. Canceling Birth Right Citizenship. Nominating an unqualified cabinet. Pardoning January 6th insurrectionists. What can/should be ignored? Much of the rest. Many concerned voters, who tried to warn that a wave of fascist and oligarchical policies would surely follow his election, seem also to be racing as fast as they can toward some unknown finish line.

In trying to keep watch, I’ve been surprised by how tired I feel, even upon waking, and how heavy weeding through the noise to focus on the really dangerous acts has become. (I guess doing life is just more difficult when one is grieving). The other day, a wise voice in my life cautioned me to pace myself. (He was specifically referring to my political postings). I was touched by his concern and actually felt the weight and the urgency I’d been feeling ease a bit. The literal physical sensation of that caught me off-guard but also got me to thinking.

When seeing my frustrations, irritations, and worry echoed in other people’s posts I tend to feel prickly–physically. I know if I let myself I could easily get up on a soapbox and start preaching. The physical sensation in those moments are rarely a net positive experience. At the same time, when those triggering posts are accompanied by a call to action, the pokes become less pronounced. Instead, I feel energized. I have something I can do. Even if it’s a little thing, the helplessness, I so often struggle with, is lessened in those moments. The actual physical tension (I seem to constantly be clutching) eases. For example, writing a note of encouragement and thank you to the Right Reverend Mariann Budde for courageously speaking truth to power helped me set aside my soap box sermon born of the agitation while also giving me a connection to a fellow laborer.

I do not pretend to have the following John Pavlovitz has or be standing on the frontline the way he and the Bishop are. (I am a retired old lady who has always had a bent toward laziness). Still, as I walk out my word for the year–to watch, I plan to look for specific ways I can connect, encourage, and act. Sharing truthful, pertinent information is one way. Sharing encouragement and connection is another. Creating a save space for retreat is a third. “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”

 

 

Hope for More; Prepare for Less

minnow Leave a comment

I tell myself some version of Hope for More; Prepare for Less on a daily basis. Turning down the volume on the political dial helps me hope. Distracting myself by slowly putting Christmas decorations away helps hope as well. Remembering how depressed I became–for well over a year–after Hillary Clinton lost in 2016 is less hope inspiring (but, it’s probably why I turned the political volume down this time around, which may be a hopeful sign for a future me).

Tomorrow, January 20, 2025, Donald Trump, whether he means what he says or not, will take the oath of office and by doing so become the president of the United States of America. A combination of ignorance, mis and disinformation, greed, prejudice, fear, and a much different world view than my own, has elected him. If, as I suspect, income inequality becomes more severe and the economy remains stagnate or even falters, minority groups become greater targets of blame and violence, climate events continue to ravage various parts of the country, and the attack on women’s rights persists, we may witness some sort of awakening, though it’s unlikely to happen any time soon. A more realistic prediction is that life will get much, much worse for many, many more people. Just not “us”.

Personally, I believe the Covid crisis overwhelmed our resilience muscles. The country is exhausted. We’ve been exhausted for four plus years and we just want a break. Trump promised to fix all our problems. Our exhaustion decided to believe him. Prior to Covid, we had gone decades, as a nation, never needing to work together to accomplish a big thing. Our collective hunger for freedom, autonomy, and the communal  “greater good” has long been dormant. And, currently it is overcome by a generalized distrust, complacency, and despair. We’ve seen spot fires to be sure–Occupy Wall Street, Black Lives Matter, even annual pride parades, women’s marches, and gun violence protests. Yet, critical mass for a sustained push for change lags.

As a party, Dems have had decades to wipe the smudges off their rose colored glasses (the ones that make them think they’re the champions of the people). They. Have. Failed. Most recently progressive voices like Bernie Sanders (I), AOC, Illhan Omar, Rashida Tlaib, Elizabeth Warren, and Hakeem Jeffries have tried to pull Dems toward the people but sadly monied interests still seem to be driving the party bus which leaves the people without a party. Thus, it’s going to hurt more before it hurts less.

So tomorrow, when party figures like President Biden, Barrack Obama, and the Clintons, sit along side cult converts like Bezos and Zuckerburg and cult faithful like Speaker Johnson and Majorie Taylor Green, to witness the great “peaceful transition of power” I will be thinking about what Martin Luther King Jr. told his fraternity, the Alpha Phi Alpha, in 1956. In the address he titled: The Birth of a New Age, King argued against the idea that civilization was in “a deep and tragic midnight” which was going backwards instead of forwards. Telling his audience that, “It is both historically and biologically true that there can be no birth or growth without birth and growing pains.” King argued that we were in that transition period. And that, in my opinion, is where we still are.

In childbirth, transition is the short period just before it time to push, yet that is exactly when many women want to quit. They have been laboring for far too long. They are tired. The contractions are the most intense. Their bodies and their minds ache with their labor. Some convince themselves that they no longer want that baby; they would be better off without it. They just want the labor to stop, the pain to go away. Like those birthing moms, many of us, in this current struggle, are tempted to throw in the towel. Our lives aren’t so bad the way they are. That baby is just going to bring us more trouble. At this point, King’s words remind us that,

“We must rise above the narrow confines of our individualistic concerns, with a broader concern for all humanity…Through our scientific means we have made of the world a neighborhood and now the challenge confronts us through our moral and spiritual means to make of it a brotherhood.”

Talking to his Alpha Phi Alpha brothers King asserted that “the forces of darkness cannot permanently conquer the forces of light and that…this is the hope that all men of goodwill live by, the belief that justice will triumph in the universe.” Yet just after planting that seed of hope, King warned his listeners there was a danger in “an optimism which says in substance we can sit down now and do nothing because this new age is inevitable.” He urged the men and women in that room to not become complacent, to continue to strive, and to look for leaders,

“not in love with money but in love with justice. Not in love with publicity but in love with humanity. Leaders who can subject their particular egos to the pressing urgencies of the great cause of freedom.”

Tomorrow, as Trump makes promises he has no intention of keeping, I will be thinking about Dr. King. As Dems pat themselves on the back for keeping the peace, I will keep watch. This transition to a new era feels long. Nearly 70 years have passed since King first spoke of The Birth of a New Age. Most of the men and women who heard his words that night have passed away, never seeing the freedom land King envisioned. I was not yet alive. My entire life has been in transition. I only hope I am still here when it comes time to push.

 

Simple Faith

minnow Leave a comment

I miss having a simple faith. I long for the connection of group worship, the joy of dancing before the Lord, the weight of a word, and the communion of prayer. At one time in my life these were all places of connection–connection with friends and family and something bigger than myself. So much has changed in my spiritual walk; Faith is not simple nor easy to hold.

When I was little, I believed in the tooth fairy and Santa Claus. It was easy.  As far as I can remember, discovering these characters were not real did not jade me too badly. Yet, as a young mother, (in part because of my faith) I decided not to engage in the fantasies with my children. Hidden teeth beneath the pillow still resulted in gifts of money. Stockings were still filled with goodies to be found on Christmas morning and we intentionally learned about lots of different Santa traditions as celebrations of goodness and generosity. I simply did not want a lie from me to be the first lie my children needed to navigate.

As a child, I watched my very conservative father walk out his faith and convictions with a quiet resolve. He was not just a provider for his family but also a father figure to some of my friends who did not have that stability in their lives. His commitment to our “church family” was built on his deep respect for the leader of our congregation. And, through his example (my father was not a preacher except by deed), I grew to understand the value of personal integrity, family connection, and standing by one’s convictions.

Truth. Honesty. Integrity. Generosity. Stewardship. Loyalty. And faithfulness. These principles were foundational to who I wanted to be because they were lived out in front of me. They were what I hoped to pass on to my own children, as the foundation for the connections I hold most dear. Being true to these ideals, in the end, is why I left building based Christianity, despite missing intensely the sense of belonging it once provided.

More than a decade has passed since I faithfully participated in any kind of Church community. Today re-entry to that particular community feels impossible, even though my longing  for the connection I once felt has not dissipated. No doubt the residue of unresolved trauma–their rejection of women in leadership, their villainizing of LGBTQ believers–and the fear of once again being disappointed, contribute to my feelings of distrust. Clearly, our current political environment, which has so thoroughly co-opted the “faith” of many self-identified Christians, has not alleviated my misgivings.

As I mentioned in my last post, we Dems need to do some soul searching. Yet, those of us who profess a faith in Christ may want to check that mirror as well. Self righteous fervor is not a good look for anyone but for those in the Church, those who are supposed to be know by their love as opposed to their rejection of the poor, the down trodden, the other, it is especially detracting.

This week as I read various memorials and watched President Carter’s funeral service at the National Cathedral, I have been  struck by how every person who spoke about the former president mentioned his faith. His witness to the folks who knew him best–friends, family, and even his political foes–was as a man who walked humbly, honestly, and consistently before the Lord. Before, during, and after his moment in the spot light, James Earl Carter fixed his thoughts on “whatever was honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellence, and praise worthy.” To paraphrase his grandson, Jason Carter, “he chose to lift up others with love and respect.” As a result, homes were built, diseases were eradicated, peace was brokered, and a lasting, living good was accomplished.

My father, and the former president would have found themselves on opposite sides of the political aisle, and yet…. The principles which guided their individual lives, the respect with which they regarded the other, and their deep belief in service would have set them on common ground. For me, they represent the promise of America–a promise we have never completely kept and that has been seriously tarnished in the last dozen years. As a nation, we need to find our way back to our promise, or perhaps it is actually that we need to make our way forward. We need more than the false security of numbers to sustain us. Our enduring accomplishments will be few if they are not built with a sense of communion–the core of which must be a commitment to mutual respect, authentic compassion toward others, and an active practice of generosity.

Love overcomes fear. It doesn’t eliminate it. Fear is actually a healthy warning sign, a call to greater awareness. Love pushes through. And a faith anchored in love gives us strength. My faith will never again be easy. But pairing it with love does make it simple. I will undoubtedly continue to miss some of the expressions my faith once enjoyed, but the communion it desires is available so long as I push through.